Once they wheeled me in to the operating room they started prepping me, they had Matt at my head which I was so grateful for. As they prepped me they kept testing to see if I was numb and finally, finally I said "No, I can't feel that at all!" They hustled along because they weren't sure how long it would last and draped me and started to get him out. He was very wedged against my pelvis so there was a lot of tugging and pushing which made me throw up again so I got zofran IV which helped a lot. I was also shaking really bad so they had to give me demerol to stop that so I was pretty doped up. They finally said "Ok, Dad get ready with the camera!" Matt started snapping pictures over the drape blindly because he couldn't see so we have some shots of him coming out that are not for the faint of heart! And then we heard him cry- I started to weep, it was so overwhelming and wonderful to finally hear him.
The took him over to the warmer and I could see as they cleaned him up and weighed him. I was struggling to stay awake from the medication so it was hard to focus but when they brought him over for me to see he stuck his little hand out and grabbed my nose- it was startling and pretty funny at the same him.
I noticed things had started to get very quiet on the other side of the big blue curtain, I head a whisper of "What is that?" and a lot of mumbling. I asked the anesthesiology nurse what was going on because I knew something wasn't right. She looked over the curtain and sort of bluffed that they were just working on getting me closed up. Finally the doctor looked over the curtain and said to me "Your fallopian tube is ruptured and you are bleeding but we are going to fix it and you are going to be fine. I will explain everything to you in recovery." My mind started spinning. How were they going to fix it? What did this mean for my recovery and for my future?
Everything is very foggy after this, they did get me closed up pretty quickly after that and took me to recovery. Matt carried our new little boy and I got to hold him and stare at him for the first time. He was perfect as I knew he would be and was worth every second of pain and fear and I knew that no matter what, everything was going to be fine as long as I had him.
The doctor came in and explained that when they removed my uterus to close it they discovered that the right side of my abdomen was full of blood and clots like I had been bleeding for a while. She said I had lost about 500 ccs of blood beyond what was normal of a c-section and that they had to sew the artery that I was bleeding from to my fallopian tube and also close the ruptured tube. She said she didn't think that tube would ever function again but that I was young and healthy and she didn't think there would be any issues.
If every there was a time that I believed God was with me, it was then. If Desmond had been in the right position and been born normally I don't know what would have happened but the consequences would have been much more severe than they were. Desmond was in the posterior position for months before I went in to labor, I knew it and tried and tried to get him to turn around but he wouldn't budge. I am sure now that he was being guided to stay put, there was a reason he was like that.
Obviously, I worry about the future but right now I am so blessed with my new baby boy and with my life and health that the worry is just too small to even think about.
Here are our first family photos:
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